why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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