Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
