I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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