I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
