I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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