So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize