Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
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