im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
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Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
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Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.