We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s