we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...