he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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