He asked me if I "almost moaned"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
