bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
