They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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