that's an acceptable place to lick
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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