How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He passed out mid-signature
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
