you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize