Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
