grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
