i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize