I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
