I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
