so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
