If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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