it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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