oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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