I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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