i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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