Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
