Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
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