Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize