Do you still have your period?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
