I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You need a sexual gate keeper
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i out mim tonsoeep
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