Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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