im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
In other news, I just burned my penis
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
