Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
