This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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