no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
