I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She's the barista slut.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i think i just naturally attract stoners
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize