You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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