How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
