I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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