I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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