Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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