Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize