Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
