so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I will pee on everything he values.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
