i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I hope mine doesn't look like that
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize