so that wasnt chicken after all
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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