no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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