areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize