I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
