ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
