walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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