it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Holy shit dude........stairs
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
