I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize