using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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