Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
