I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
how does that bad decision feel?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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