So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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